21st Century Communicating: the Reality

Do you speak and use words to string together sentences? If you said yes, then you are a communicator. 

You don't have to do communications for a living or be a communications specialist to officially be a communicator. Every human who speaks, uses hand signals or body language gestures is communicating in one way or another.

So why should everyone care about HOW they communicate? 

Because it speaks VOLUMES about who you are. As a leader. As a Manager. As a volunteer. As a significant other in a relationship. As a friend. Really, as a person. Speaking-- the art of not only WHAT you say but HOW you say it defines who you are.

When giving workshops and presentations, I always remind people that communication is THE most important skill we will use as human beings while on earth. If you can't get an idea expressed clearly and concisely to those you are talking too, then how can you get anything done or simply have anyone understand you?

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The Reality of Communicating in the 21st Century

What is hard teaching people of different generations on how to communicate is that each generation has their own style of speaking and "language" and what is acceptable. Speaking in abbreviations, for example, was not common for baby boomers but has become 'the norm' and acceptable for people belonging to Generation Y.

The reality is we are experiencing a time in society where many generations of people are communicating in very different styles and all at the same time. With the introduction of internet and social media, it is simply changing the way our brains are wired. How we understand and process information and then communicate it outward is simply different than previous generations.

More to come on the science of how our brains are actually being rewired and some techniques on how to combat this reality on the new way of communicating.

The time and effort behind Being a good speaker

A lot of people believe that being a good speaker requires a lot of talent, time and energy. In instances where professionals want to be a paid speaker or have to do speaking on a full-time basis as required by their job, public speaking does require a great deal of practice and time to be the best at their craft.

BUT...

The idea of being a great speaker in your everyday job or on committees/teams you serve on does not required much time and talent to be great. What is required though is the conscious effort to try and be a good speaker whenever you open your mouth. Perhaps because of our more casual and relaxed society we now live in, we culturally 'speak' and 'talk' in a lot more casual manner than ever before. Online acronyms and sayings (like LOL and YOLO standing for 'Laugh out Loud' and 'You Only Live Once') seem to creep into our vocabulary and emails more than they should. People don't take the same pride in what they sound like when speaking to people in everyday life.

When speaking to anyone in any work-life ventures, keep in mind these 5 simple tips that will help you increase your presence when speaking with people...and with minimal time and effort.

1. Keep eye contact. Don't be shy. Stare into the person's soul and maintain eye contact. It will show confidence in what you are saying.
2. Speak with clarity and conviction. Tone is everything. By simply stating what you are saying with authority and by speaking firmly, it removes doubt from your voice and adds confidence in what you are saying. Never end sentences with questions or trail off with what you are saying.
3. Use language that asserts yourself. Words like "I think", "what if" "maybe" "perhaps" add doubt to what you're saying.
4. Posture can single-handily change the way someone sees you, both favourbly and unfavourably. Shoulders back, back straightly-aligned, chin down, and a relaxed/calming look on your face will take you miles. Body language speaks volumes about you as a person.
5. Don't waiver in what you are saying. Always think before you say something so you don't regret what you said and the way in which you said it. The best speakers are extremely crafted in what they say.. that is half the battle... knowing what is the right thing to say, at the right time, and in the right manner/tone for the intended audience.

The Recipe for What Makes You a Memorable Speaker

There are people out there who believe just because they open their mouth that they can speak well. The reality is that only a select few people are ACTUALLY great at speaking in front of people or large audiences. Like being good at a sport or the art of writing or drawing... it is a craft. Not everyone is a naturally-gifted speaker and while you certainly can learn to become a great speaker; it takes time, practice, patience, and self awareness to become a memorable speaker.

I often get asked after I speak, just what are the elements of being a good speaker that I've either learned or applied to my craft. There isn't a "one shoe fits all" recipe or formula that works for everyone and its not like you can go to school to major in speech training or public speaking! BUT there certainly are elements that all great speakers seem to have. Here are the 10 ingredients needed if you want to speak influentially to anyone, whether it be in person one-on-one or publicly in front of a crowd:

The Recipe for Being a Memorable Speaker

1. Voice tone and pitch. Some speakers just naturally have soothing voices to listen too. Their pitch isn't high and they are able to vary their tone to make what their saying extremely interesting. Speaker's voices are their calling card.. as soon as you hear their voice you should want to stop and listen because you are engaged. Some people have extremely recognizable voices that people always enjoy listening too and can easily identify. Recognize this well-known actor/ narrator in this commercial?
2. Body language. As I blogged about last week, impressions are influenced by 93% non-verbal communication. What are you saying with your actions (or what aren't you saying?) Do you animate how you speak by using hand motions to engage your audience? You must in order to add another element to keep your audience listening and to make it fun!
3. Storytelling. Your ability to "tell" the story will be one, if not the most important factor in being a memorable speaker. You can have the best content but if you can't deliver, you've failed! The selection of words, how you say those words, and the way you tell/explain your story or idea is vital to how much people will enjoy you.
4. Content. The other half of the public speaking equation to complement delivery is content. This is probably the most challenging part of speaking (at least for me anyways). How do you tailor your content to your specific audience so you aren't talking too high-level or too in-depth for them. How do you talk about something serious but make it interesting (and sometimes funny) for those listening. It takes years of practice to hone in the skill of creating killer content when speaking!
5. Humour. Nothing is better when a speaker makes fun of themselves or make jokes (that don't seem too placed!) that put the audience at ease. It not only relaxes the audience but it relaxes the speaker too, making them seem more confident in what they're sharing. And of course, its always enjoyable to watch someone who looks like they're having fun :)
6. Authenticity. The best part about listening to someone speak is hearing about who they are and how unique they are whether in their background or their ideas. Speakers should never "model" themselves after anyone else. Back to my idea that I shared with the Aggie graduates, don't be cookie cutter. Always be aware of who you are; how unique your story is.. that is what people want to hear.. YOUR story!
7. Eye-Appealing. Speaking is about the total package. I'm sure you'd be shocked if someone with a fantastic voice didn't have the rest of the package to match. This includes having the total package of dressing appropriately, using body language, and having presence so you really own and command the stage.
8. Thought-Provoking. The best speakers challenge the audience to think differently than they thought before coming into the speech or presentation. No one said speaking was easy...the best speakers are the ones that say what everyone is thinking, but in a very politic and constructive way (for the most part anyways!)
9. Organized & Prepared. There is no other rule more simple for a speaker to follow then to be organized and prepared. Organized in knowing your content/powerpoint slides and knowing where you're going to take the presentation with the audience in tow. Of course, the other part to being "prepared" as a speaker is being able to handle all the things that come your way unexpected and unplanned. Handle these situations calmly and your audience will notice!
   
10. Value. And the end of the day, when people listen to a speaker, they want to have a take away message that they learned from you. Whether it is 1 piece of information or 3 key messages, leave your audience with something valuable so they see you as a memorable speaker! I guarantee you will be asked to speak again if your audience continues to see and get value from what you're saying.

What other ingredients do you believe are needed for the recipe of a memorable speaker?

Think Your Voice is the Only Thing that Speaks Volumes About You?

Communicating today is completely different from how our parents and other generations used to communicate. With the increased use of social media, digital media, and smartphone devices, it appears that "social etiquette" has gone completely out the window. The days of properly greeting people; speaking politely; and speaking properly are gone. Partly the reason why The Passionate Voice was founded!

If you've ever heard of the 93% nonverbal communication rule as pioneered by Professor Albert Mehrabian, it states that when you speak to someone, it isn't only the words that you say that are impacting how someone formulates an opinion about you! Mehrabian's research found that impressions are formulated in the following breakdown: 7% is by the words spoken; 38% is the way in which someone says words; and the remaining 55% is body language... meaning that the way people make an impression on you is 93% based on non-verbal communication!

When I am in professional settings where body language would seem the most important to make a lasting impression, it seems only a small percentage of people actually pay attention to how their body language impacts their overall presence. Now that I am aware of how heavily body language shapes how we influence people's opinions when presenting and public speaking, I always sure to include training on body language in my leadership and public speaking workshops.

Speaking and influencing others is about selling the entire package of who you are. If you have a fantastic voice and message but don't look or act the part, you won't make the impression necessary for those to take you seriously or want to hear from you again.

Here is an interesting TED talk on body language from doctor and professor Amy Cuddy who speaks about how research supports that body language shapes who we are.